So, during the past few months I have found out many things about myself.  I am very good with my kids, very good at juggling responsibilities, but horrible at keeping up with blogs and passing bar exams.  I'm also horrible at getting interviews and finding employment, but that could be more a geographical problem than a me problem.  So I found out that I did not pass the February Bar exam (upsetting to say the least), but I did learn more and retained more information for this try than I have in the past.  I was going to try again in July with all the freshly graduated law students, but we will be traveling back and forth from VA to GA for a personal issue this summer, so I won't have the time to study.  I am signed up for February 2014 WV bar exam, so hopefully that is a luckier year for me than 2013 has been so far. 

I am still diligently trying to get employed.  So far I haven't gotten even an interview to any of the jobs I have applied to, but I'm hoping with persistence the right opportunity will open up. In the meantime I am working on reading for pleasure a little bit, and working on getting as much legal information into my head as possible.  I have also gotten to catch up on my Vampire Diaries and watch my wonderful Game of Thrones :) I have even become a fresh addict to Downton Abbey (for anyone who hasn't seen it, it is a fabulous show) and have rekindled my love for PBS.  

For now I am trying to run after the kiddos with all of our spring/summer activities, lick my wounds from not being good enough (again), and enjoy becoming a member of the dirty thirties in two weeks when my 30th birthday comes :) At least this year we are going to Disney two weeks after my birthday, and as a Disney addict, I am super excited for this trip! It's the second trip for me, my husband, and Riley, but the first trip for our two youngest.  We are so excited to see their eyes light up when we go into the Magic Kingdom for the first time! Until then, I will get through the last weeks of school work, baseball, gymnastics, and errand running until we are able to leave to go see a mouse :)

It's been awhile....

So in my regular fashion, it has been months since my last blog post.  It's not like anyone is reading this anyway, so it doesn't really matter if it takes me forever to finally slap something down and call it a post.  Since my last post I swore off facebook so I could spend more time studying for the bar.  That was successful (and surprisingly enjoyable) and I was able to catch up to be fully prepared for the bar.  For once I really knew the information, really understood it, and I am really happy with the effort I made when I took the bar.  My essays were much improved (for me), but I have no idea if they were good enough to pass.  I'm really hoping they were, but I have kept studying just in case I do fail and have started studying to retake the MPRE in April, and I do not feel as confident today as I did walking out of the testing center.  Such is life, I'm really hoping for a pass next to my number when I look at the results in April or May, but I have started preparing myself to see a fail (since that is the only result I have had with this delightful test so far).  

On a happier note, I did get to hang out and catch up on old times with two great friends from law school, so this five month endeavor wasn't all for not.  We had a great time eating and reminiscing, so even if I do fail I at least got to enjoy myself (and it gives me an excuse to go back to WV to do it again in July).  It would be nice to be able to reach a personal goal of finally passing a bar exam, finally feeling like I am capable and that my life from 2005-2008 wasn't a complete waste of time and money.  The only things that have come out of it so far are great friends and of course my wonderful family, which many people act like I am a whiny pain in the tush for being unhappy with that.  And it's not like I'm unhappy, I am a very goal oriented person who goes after what I want with fervor and I get very frustrated when I do everything that I am supposed to (and go above and beyond what I should) and I still get no results.  Hopefully this chapter of my life will be over and I will be able to be a licensed attorney in WV (even though we don't live there).  Maybe this will help me win back some of the self esteem I have lost over the last few years.

So that is my little update for now, hopefully I will make another blog post soon (or sometime before three months from now).  

Happy New Year!

So it's January 1, 2013, and I'm excited for the possibilities this year will bring.  I'm NOT looking forward to the pending doom known as the WV bar exam, but I am hopeful that this is my time to finally pass.  I'm a huge believer that things happen in your life for a specific reason, and even though I do not know exactly why, my past failed bar attempts were meant to happen.  Even though I would have loved working the last almost five years, by staying home with my kids during the youngest part of their lives has given me an incredible bond with them, that I wouldn't trade for the world.  But, in being completely honest, I miss working, they are kind of tired of me, and all of us want to move onto new things.  Andre loves his preschool and is devastated when I pick him up each day, Brynn wants to go to preschool, but can't because we can't afford two in preschool on just my husband's salary.  All of the kids would like to be involved in more activities, but right now we can't do that either because of money issues, so hopefully once the bar occurs I will be able to find a job right away and then everyone will be a lot happier for it.  Right now studying is going alright, I am not as far in the outlining program as I wanted to be at this point (I was supposed to be done completely by Jan.1), but I only have three subjects left and I am hopeful I can knock two of them out tonight.  Right now I am going to be getting up early every day to do some MBE questions, so I can get that done even though I'm not done outlining yet, and I'm hopeful that my outlining will be complete by the end of this weekend. I have resolved to sleep very little since I cannot get as much studying done during the day as most bar takers, and hoping my sleep deprivation pays off in the end since I am in the last two months of preparations.  I just hope it goes well this time.  I have put myself in a better mindset and am telling myself that there is no other option than passing this time.  Hopefully a little can-do attitude will go a long way and I can get this test knocked out.  I am tired of taking the darn thing and I would love to have something to show for going to school for an obscene amount of time (not to mention to my obscene amount of student loan debt at this time).  So with a new year I have a new found optimism that will carry me through the next two months of hell that I get to put myself through.  Wish me luck!